3x05 - The First Time - Glee Transcripts

Wednesday, November 23, 2011

3x05 - The First Time

Airdate: October 4, 2011

Written by: Ian Brennan
Directed by: Alfonso Gomez-Rejon
Transcribed by: yaaaycheers

Featured Music:

Tonight, from West Side Story
Billy Joel - Uptown Girl
A Boy Like That, from West Side Story
I Have a Love, from West Side Story
America, from West Side Story
One Hand, One Heart, from West Side Story

—

INTRO

NARRATOR: So here’s what you missed on Glee - McKinley’s doing West Side Story and everyone’s excited, especially Coach Beiste and Emma and Artie because they’re the directors. Blaine got the lead and so did Rachel, which made Mercedes quit the Glee Club and join Shelby’s Troubletones with Santana and Brittany. Mike Chang’s playing Riff, even though his dad told him he can’t be a dancer.

TINA: Riff is perfect for you.

NARRATOR: I think he wants him to go to doctor college or something. And that’s what you missed on Glee.

SCENE ONE: THE HALLWAY / BACKSTAGE

ARTIE (V/O): You see this face? This is what enlightenment looks like. It doesn’t matter if he’s in prison like Ghandi or trapped inside a woman’s body like Chaz Bono, or stuck in a wheelchair like me. When a man finds his calling, all is right in his world. I still love performing, but thanks to Mr Schue and the school musical, I’ve finally discovered my true passion - bossing everyone around. I mean directing. The key to being a director is having opinions, about everything.

ARTIE: No.

ARTIE (V/O): Even stuff you have no idea about.

ARTIE: No!

RACHEL: I think it’s great.

ARTIE: Go.

ARTIE: Definitely.

RACHEL: Really? No.

ARTIE: That’s it.

RACHEL: Ugh!

ARTIE (V/O): I’m both sad and happy that the musical is just days away.

SCENE TWO: AUDITORIUM

RACHEL and BLAINE sing Tonight.

BLAINE: Are you gonna cry every time we sing?

SHANNON: I’m such a girl.

EMMA: My only note is more teeth.

ARTIE: Can I be honest? This song is about sexual awakening, as is the entire musical. You two lack passion. Have either of you two actually…?

EMMA: Wow. Okay. I have to go.

SHANNON: Those footballs ain’t gonna inflate themselves.

ARTIE: Look, I remember my first time with Brittany. The excitement, the way it made me feel like a man. Even though she called me the wrong name like, four times. During and after. What was it like for you guys?

RACHEL: W- um…

BLAINE: I’m waiting for the right time.

RACHEL: Yeah. Yeah, yeah, me too. So glad that you’re my Tony.

ARTIE: Look. As your friend, I support your strange aversion to fun. But, as your director, I’m concerned.

RACHEL: I’m sorry, what do you mean?

ARTIE: Well, how do you expect to convey the human experience to an audience when you haven’t even opened yourself up to one of humanity’s most basic and primal ones.

TITLE CARD

ON-SCREEN CREDITS:

DIANNA AGRON
CHRIS COLFER
DARREN CRISS
JANE LYNCH
JAYMA MAYS
KEVIN MCHALE
LEA MICHELE
CORY MONTEITH
HEATHER MORRIS
MATTHEW MORRISON
AMBER RILEY
NAYA RIVERA
MARK SALLING
HARRY SHUM JR.
JENNA USHKOWITZ
GUEST STARRING: DOT-MARIE JONES
MAX ADLER
DAMIAN MCGINTY, GRANT GUSTIN
ERIC BRUSKOTTER, LAMARCUS TINKER
KEONG SIN, TAMLYN TOMITA
EXECUTIVE MUSIC PRODUCERS: RYAN MURPHY, ADAM ANDERS. FEATURED SONGS PRODUCED BY: ADAM ANDERS, PEER ASTROM, RYAN MURPHY
STAFF WRITER: ROSS MAXWELL
STAFF WRITER: MATTHEW HODGSON

SCENE THREE: HALLWAY

RACHEL: And one over there. So, you, um, you know, you still haven’t told me who you’re voting for yet.

FINN: Well, I haven’t decided. Kurt’s my brother, it’s kinda hard to vote against your brother.

RACHEL: You can’t do this with your brother.

FINN: Not unless you live in Kentucky. What’s gotten into you?

RACHEL: Nothing, its’ just the confidence of success. I mean, we sold out the April Rhodes Auditorium for three shows, Jacob Ben Israel’s polls have me tied in first place for the presidential race, and I have the hottest guy in school. I hope that my radience isn’t too much for you.

FINN: It won’t be after Friday night.

RACHEL: What’s Friday night?

FINN: That is the day that the recruiter from Ohio State is coming, and they’re looking for a new quarterback.

RACHEL: Really? That’s amazing!

FINN: Yeah, I know. You’re not pissed.

RACHEL: No! No, of course not. It’s not like NYADA has a football team. It’s really happening. You know, our dreams are coming true, we’re growing up.

FINN: I know. And hey, I was thinking, um, Burt and my mom are out canvassing all week, and I have the house to myself. Maybe you could come over.

RACHEL: To your house? I’ll be there at six.

FINN: Oh, man.

SCENE FOUR: BLAINE’S BEDROOM

BLAINE: Mmm. God, Roxy music makes me wanna build a time machine just so I can go back to the seventies and give Brian Ferry a high five.

KURT: Do you think I’m boring?

BLAINE: Are you crazy? You are the single most interesting kid in all of Ohio.

KURT: I mean like, sexually. I mean, we are playing it very safe by not granting our hands visas to travel south of the equator.

BLAINE: Well, I thought that’s what we wanted.

KURT: It is. I’m just wondering, have you ever had the urge just to rip off each other’s clothes and get dirty?

BLAINE: Uh, yeah, but that’s why they invented masturbation.

KURT: So hot in this room, could we maybe open up a window?

BLAINE: Hey, I’m serious. We’re young, we’re in high school, and yeah, we have urges, but whatever we do, I wanna make sure that you’re comfortable. So I can be comfortable. And besides, tearing off all your clothes is sort of a tall order.

KURT: Because of the layers?

BLAINE: Because of the layers.

SCENE FIVE: AUDITORIUM / LOCKER ROOM

SHANNON: Man, I love to weld.

ARTIE: Clearly. Coach, I’m concerned.

SHANNON: Huh.

ARTIE: Why did you run out of rehearsal the other day when we started talking about S - E - X?

SHANNON: Artie, this conversation’s totally inappropriate.

ARTIE: Wait. Have you never…? Why, have you just never found the right… person?

SHANNON: Guy. I like guys. And no, I haven’t found him. Alright, I’ll play. There’s this one gentlemen, he’s the bee’s knees. His name’s Cooter Menkins, he’s a recruiter for Ohio State. He’s beautiful, he makes me feel like a girl. But, he’s not interested.

COOTER: You’re a hell of a coach, Coach. So much talent. Well, I’m famished. Wanna go get some lunch?

SHANNON: Nah. But you can have the rest of my chilli, there’s nothing left but gristle and a few beans but it eats pretty good.

SHANNON: So anyway, that’s my type. Not that it matters.

SCENE SIX: DALTON HALLWAY / CHOIR ROOM

THE WARBLERS sing Uptown Girl.

BLAINE: You guys killed it, as always!

TRENT: We’d sound so much better with you back in the mix. Is this your triumphant return to Dalton? Please?

BLAINE: Actually, I’m here to invite you guys to my opening night at McKinley. West Side Story! I reserved a whole block of tickets just for the Warblers, it’d mean the world to me if you guys could come.

SEBASTIAN: We’ll be there. Once a Warbler, always a Warbler, right? Blaine Anderson. Sebastian Smythe.

BLAINE: Hi. Are you a Freshman?

SEBASTIAN: Do I look like a Freshman?

BLAINE: Uh…

SCENE SEVEN: DALTON CAFE

SEBASTIAN: So you’re a legend at Dalton.

BLAINE: Well, I…

SEBASTIAN: Don’t be modest. I was like, I don’t know who this Blaine guy is, but apparently he’s sex on a stick and sings like a dream. So. Sucks that I missed him. Alright. Since I’m working to recreate your [?], I need to ask - why did you leave Dalton? Were you bored with all the preppies around here? Or is it that you broke too many hearts to stay?

The scene now intercuts between the conversation between BLAINE and SEBASTIAN, and RACHEL and SANTANA singing A Boy Like That in the auditorium.

BLAINE: Uh, it wasn’t like that. Let’s just say that I miss Dalton every day. But McKinley is where my heart is now.

SEBASTIAN: I have to go. Lacross practice. But could we meet again? I could really use some more insights from you, Blaine. You know - Warbler to Warbler.

BLAINE: Sure.

SCENE EIGHT: LOCKER ROOM

FINN: Hey, dude. Uh, I got a question for ya.

PUCK: I thought they were my sneakers.

FINN: What?

PUCK: What?

FINN: No, no, look, I figured since you have some more… experience than I do, maybe you could reccomend a brand of condom?

PUCK: Are you cheating on Rachel, dude? ‘Cos if you are that is not cool, and that’s coming from me.

FINN: No. I wanna use them with Rachel.

PUCK: Oh. I’m happy for you, dude. And her. Always thought it’d be me, but secretly hoped it’d be you. As for the condoms, no idea, never used them. It’s worked out for me about 99% of the time.

SHANNON: Gather ‘round. Y’all know Cooter Menkins. Best eye for talent in the country, if you ask me.

COOTER: That’s why I spend so much time with you, Coach. Hey. Are those new tube socks?

SHANNON: I got a whole new six-pack if you wanna borrow a pair.

COOTER: Alright. This Friday night, I will be in the stands watching you play. And I’m not looking for boys to play for the Buckeyes. I’m looking for men.

SCENE NINE: HALLWAY

KURT: If you see any of Rachel’s campaign posters, feel free to tear them down.

BLAINE: Do you think we’re too sheltered as artists? I’m serious. West Side Story is all about living outside of your safe little world, don’t you wanna wake up every day and be adventurous? Experience everything in life you can?

KURT: Of course. It’s why I made a bucket list. Okay. You ready for this?

BLAINE: Okay.

KURT: Alright, here we go. Number eighty-seven. Become CEO of Logo.

BLAINE: Of course.

KURT: Number sixty-three. Oh, lay a rose at the birthplace of Noel Coward. Okay, number five, alright, this one’s really embarrassing, I wrote this before I met you. Have relations on a dewey meadow of lilac with Taylor Lautner before he gets fat. Ugh. Yeah, I know, it’s stupid, it’s stupid.

BLAINE: No, it’s not. It’s hot.

KURT: Well, anyway, we’re young, so… we got all the time in the world to be adventurous.

BLAINE: Don’t you think now is the time to be adventurous? While we’re still young?

SCENE TEN: HALLWAY

ARTIE: Excuse me, Mr Cooter? I’m Artie Abrams, can I see you in my office? It’s important.

COOTER: You don’t mean the handicapped stall, do you?

ARTIE: Uh, no. That is hilarious.

SCENE ELEVEN: AUDITORIUM

COOTER: Holy hell. What is this, a movie theatre or something?

ARTIE: You like Coach Beiste, right?

COOTER: Yeah, yeah, of course I do. She’s the best football coach in the state. Wow.

ARTIE: Yeah, but do you like her like her?

COOTER: You know, I’ve asked her out about a million times, she’s not interested. I mean, last week? Told her I had a gift certificate to Applebee’s, just told me fancy restaurants make me nervous.

ARTIE: You have to ask her out again.

COOTER: No way, Andy. She’s just gonna blow me off.

ARTIE: Trust me. You need to ask me out again. But make it really obvious. I have the perfect idea for a date.

SCENE TWELVE: LIMA BEAN

BLAINE: I can’t believe you asked for a shot of cavasier in your coffee.

SEBASTIAN: Forgot how lame this town is. When I lived in Paris, I drank it like it was mother’s milk.

BLAINE: When you lived- okay. Wow.

SEBASTIAN: What?

BLAINE: You’re just so - you know, you’re out there.

SEBASTIAN: And your whole bashful schoolboy thing? Super hot.

BLAINE: Look. Sebastian. I have a boyfriend.

SEBASTIAN: Doesn’t bother me if it doesn’t bother you.

BLAINE: No, I mean, I really care about him.

SEBASTIAN: He doesn’t need to know.

BLAINE: I just never want to mess my thing up with him, in any way. He’s really great.

KURT: Who’s really great?

BLAINE: You! We were just talking about you. Sebastian, this is Kurt, my boyfriend, who I was just-

SEBASTIAN: Got it.

BLAINE: Wow. Heh. Wow.

KURT: Pleasure. And how do we know Sebastian?

SEBASTIAN: We met at Dalton. I was dying to meet Blaine. Those Warblers just won’t shut up about him. Didn’t think he could live up to the hype, but as it turns out…

KURT: Yes, he’s even more impressive in the flesh.

SEBASTIAN: Hey, what are you guys doing tomorrow night?

KURT: Well, we’re rehearsing for the school musical. And then at bedtime we do a rigourours skin [?] regiment over the phone together.

SEBASTIAN: And as sexy as that sounds, what do you say we shake things up? I get you guys a couple of fake IDs and we head over to Scandals in West Lima.

BLAINE: Scandals, that’s the gay bar.

SEBASTIAN: Last time I was there, I met the man of my dreams on the dance floor.

KURT: That’s so sweet, and are you two still together? Sadly no, we broke up about twenty minutes after we met. C’mon, guys, live a little.

BLAINE: We would love to, Sebastian, thank you for the offer, that’s very nice of you, but that just isn’t our kind of thing.

KURT: Let’s do it.

BLAINE: What?

KURT: Yeah! I mean, we have a whole bunch of firsts to start crossing off our lists. We’re in.

SEBASTIAN: Great.

BLAINE: Great.

SCENE THIRTEEN: FINN’S DINING ROOM

RACHEL: Mmm. That was amazing. I’ve never had meat substitute before that tasted that much like real meat.

FINN: Of course. Because you’re a vegan, which I remember, because we know each other so well, more sparkling cider?

RACHEL: Mmm-hmm. Thank you. Shall we make a toast?

FINN: Yeah.

RACHEL: Alright. To four full months of no fighting or threats of us breaking up, nothing but love, love, love.

BOTH: Cheers.

FINN: Oh, should I go make dessert? I’ve got poundcake, it’s [?].

RACHEL: Oh. Actually, I thought maybe we could just go snuggle by the fire first.

FINN: Okay.

SCENE FOURTEEN: FINN’S LIVING ROOM

FINN: I brought protection.

RACHEL: Me too. Every Broadway girl comes prepared.

FINN: Wait, wait, before we do this, I need to know, why now? The last time we talked about this, you said you wanted to wait until you won a Tony.

RACHEL: Or any other major award. I mean, a Golden Globe, a People’s Choice would have gotten you to third base, but… I don’t know what changed, I mean even the thought of going to New York a virgin felt silly to me, but when and who’s gonna feel more right than you and now? And I love you.

FINN: I just wanna make sure this is special enough for you. I been saving up for a hotel for us. Some place nice, like a marriot or something. If we wait a couple of weeks, I can probably-

RACHEL: No, I can’t wait a couple of weeks, I have to get this done before opening night.

FINN: Get this done?

RACHEL: I can’t play a girl who has a sexual awakening if I’m not woken up myself.

FINN: So you’re doing this so you can act better?

RACHEL: No! No, I’m doing this because I love you. And so that I can act better, but that’s my business, okay, it has nothing to do with you, so- wait, where are you going? No, no, I’m ready, please, come back.

FINN: I just need a minute. Okay? I’m gonna… make dessert.

SCENE FIFTEEN: HALLWAY

MIKE CHANG SR: When were you gonna tell me?

MIKE: Tell you what?

MIKE CHANG SR: That you’re doing the school musical? I overheard your mother talk about it on the phone. You lied to me. And you made a liar out of your mother. You will quit. Immediately.

MIKE: No. I love being a dancer.

MIKE CHANG SR: When I was in high school, I wanted to be a tennis player. But then I had to wake up and realise that I wasn’t good enough. Grow up, Michael. You need to learn the difference between grown-up dreams and kid dreams.

MIKE: I’m not going to be a doctor. I will be a professional dancer. I’ll pay my own way through college, I don’t want your money.

MIKE CHANG SR: As long as you continue to waste your life on this silly fantasy, you will no longer be my son.

MIKE: Then I guess I don’t have a dad anymore.

SCENE SIXTEEN: LOCKER ROOM

COOTER: Need somebody to spot you?

SHANNON: Nah, I’m good. I live big, and solo.

COOTER: Yeah, well, you’d be surprised how much I can bench. If I got the chance.

SHANNON: Gotcha. I’ll be through here in a sec. And then they’re all yours. Did you need me for something?

COOTER: Yeah. Yeah, I do. I, uh… I got these.

SHANNON: What, you going to a graveyard?

COOTER: No, I got them for you.

SHANNON: I’m not sick.

COOTER: Dammit, Shannon, can you just - can you drop the weights, please, and talk to me for a second? Man. Ever had something you really wanted to get and out and you just couldn’t seem to do it?

SHANNON: I had a chigger in my thigh once. It was the size of a tic tac.

COOTER: I wanna take you out on a date. A real, honest-to-god, sit-down date. Where you dress up like a lady and I dress up like a gentleman. Yes or no?

SHANNON: Why you doing this, Coot? Somebody put you up to this?

COOTER: Jeez. Why don’t you get that… I’m attracted to you?

SHANNON: ‘Cause you’re the kind of man that could have any pretty he pointed at, and I don’t look the way pretty girls look.

COOTER: Well, good. ‘Cause I don’t date girls. I just date women. Beautiful women. Like you. So take the flowers. Go on. So. Friday. After the game.

SCENE SEVENTEEN: CLASSROOM

RACHEL: This emergency meeting is now in session. I realise that we are a house divided but I need the advice of my girls. The last time I called a meeting like this was during our Madonna lesson, and all of you were widly unhelpful. But it’s been two years now and we’ve all grown up, so I’m optimistic. Finn and I were… almost intimate.

TINA: Almost? What happened?

RACHEL: He ran out. I just, I wanted my performance of Maria to be as realistic as possible, and when he found out that that’s why I was doing it, he got really, really hurt.

TINA: Of course he was hurt.

BRITTANY: Yeah, that’s really bad, Rachel.

RACHEL: I know, I know, I feel terrible, and now I realise that I was just doing it for all the wrong reasons.

QUINN: Do you want my advise? Just wait.

RACHEL: Just wait?

QUINN: Look what happened to me.

TINA: You could have used protection.

QUINN: I’m not just talking about getting pregnant, I’m talking about losing something that you can never get back. It changes you. It makes everything more complicated.

SANTANA: I also think that you should wait. Speaking from experience, Finn is terrible in bed.

TINA: Santana, that is not cool.

SANTANA: What? If Rachel wants my sloppy seconds, she should at least know the truth. Look, it was like being smothered by a sweaty, out-of-breath sack of potatoes that someone soaked in body spray.

BRITTANY: I lost my virginity at cheerleading camp. He just… climbed into my tent. Alien invasion.

RACHEL: Okay, well - then I guess it’s settled. Obviously things are heating up between Finn and I, but I think we should wait.

TINA: Losing my virginity was a great experience for me. Because I was with someone I love.

The rest of the scene intercuts between the classroom, RACHEL and FINN in the hallway, and RACHEL and SANTANA singing I Have A Love.

TINA: It happened this summer. Mike and I talked about it for a while, because we knew the first time was gonna be something we’d wanna remember forever. And when that moment came, we just knew. It was right. It wasn’t rushed. It was amazing. He’s my first love, and I’ll always look back at that moment as absolutely perfect. No regrets.

SCENE EIGHTEEN: SCANDALS CAR PARK

KURT: Chaz Donaldsworth? This doesn’t even look like me.

BLAINE: Don’t worry, mine says I’m thirty-eight. They’ll work.

SCENE NINETEEN: SCANDALS

KURT: Aloha!

BOUNCER: Enjoy. It’s Drag Queen Wednesday.

KURT: Great.

BLAINE: It’s not very scandalous.

KURT: Au contraire. Look at all the, ah… glamourous drag queens. Look, there’s, uh, Cher, and Tina Turner, and ah, um, is that Lucy or Riba?

BLAINE: That is Ginger from Gilligan’s Island.

KURT: Of course. I really don’t like that guy.

BLAINE: He’s harmless.

SEBASTIAN: A beer for Blaine. And for Kurt, a Shirley Temple with extra cherries. I heard you’re the designated driver. Like, all the time. Cheers, boys. To the glamourous life.

KAROFSKY: Better watch your boyfriend. Could I get another beer, please.

KURT: So how’s life at your new school?

KAROFSKY: Fine. You know, I just wanna have a normal senior year and play football without my teammates hearing rumours about me.

KURT: Just to let you know, I never would have told anyone. It’s not who I am. So, you come here all the time?

KAROFSKY: People like me here, I feel accepted. I’m what they call a bear cub.

KURT: Because you look like Yogi?

KAROFSKY: I don’t know, because I’m burly or something? What, so is this the part where you judge me?

KURT: No. As long as you’re not beating people up, I’m all for being whoever you have to be at your own speed.

KAROFSKY: Right now, I’m just trying to get through high school. Here’s to baby steps.

KURT: Baby steps.

SCENE TWENTY: SCANDALS CAR PARK

BLAINE: This is the best night of my life.

KURT: Okay. Alright.

BLAINE: It’s the best night of my life! I wanna live here. I wanna live here, and I just wanna make art and help people.

KURT: You can certainly help people make fires with your breath.

BLAINE: Hey, c’mon, I only had one beer. Kiss me.

KURT: Oh, no. No, no, no, no.

BLAINE: Kiss me, come on.

KURT: No, c’mon, you ride in the back. C’mon. Lay down.

BLAINE: Alright.

KURT: So then you throw up that way.

BLAINE: C’mere.

KURT: Woah - woah - woah - wait! Alright, oh, oh, oh, alright. Blaine, alright.

BLAINE: Hey, Kurt, let’s just do it. I want you.

KURT: No.

BLAINE: I want you so bad.

KURT: No, no, stop it!

BLAINE: I know you wanted to do it in a field of lilacs with Sting playing in the background and all that, who cares where we are?

KURT: Alright-

BLAINE: It’s all about us, right?

KURT: Right! It’s about us! Which is why I don’t wanna do it on a night you spend half of dancing with another guy! And that you’re sober enough to remember it the next day!

BLAINE: Why are you yelling at me?

KURT: Because I never felt less like being intimate with someone and either you can’t tell or you just don’t care! Where are you going?

BLAINE: I’m sorry if I’m trying to be spontaneous and fun! I think I’m just gonna walk home.

KURT: Blaine!

SCENE TWENTY-ONE: DRESSING ROOM

RACHEL: Just so you know, your Maria has disappointed you. I’m still a virgin.

BLAINE: And your Tony has disappointed you, me too.

RACHEL: Look, the audience is smart, the only sensible solution is to just cancel the show, I’d rather send everybody home than give a false, inauthentic performance.

ARTIE: Five minutes! Rachel, darken your eyebrows. Blaine, tone down the blush.

RACHEL: My eyebrows are fine.

SCENE TWENTY-TWO: ONSTAGE, PRE-SHOW

EMMA: Artie. Artie, are you okay, you look upset.

ARTIE: Everything is wrong. The scenery, the costumes, the staging. You know, I thought if I just pretended like I knew what I was doing, I could lie my way through it. But in five minutes, that curtain is going to go up and everybody’s going to know that I’m a fraud.

EMMA: Artie, you were brilliant. Really, this show is absolutely amazing and that’s all thanks to you.

ARTIE: It’s awful. I let everybody down.

TINA: Hey, Artie. Some of the cast needs to talk to you before we go on.

ARTIE: See? It’s mutiny.

PUCK: Dude, we have a problem.

SANTANA: We haven’t officially thanked you for everything that you’ve done for us.

TINA: All of us were so nervous, and we didn’t know what we were doing and you were like the lighthouse that led us the way.

ARTIE: But I don’t know what I was doing either. When you’re in a chair, it’s hard to ever feel like you’ve grown up. Everyone’s always doing stuff for you, get freaked out about saying the wrong thing. So, they coddle you. Sometimes it’s hard to ever picture a life of being totally self-sufficient. But directing you guys, the way you trusted me, the way you looked at me and listened to me. It was the first time in my life that I ever felt like a grown man. It’s the greatest gift you could give a guy, so - so thank you, guys. For the flowers, and for everything. Alright! Show circle.

PUCK: May I, chief? Let’s kick some ass!

SCENE TWENTY-THREE: ONSTAGE, MID-SHOW

PUCK: Oh, when I think about when we came to America! Like children! Believing, trusting!

SANTANA: Ah, trusting with our hearts open.

TINA: With our arms open.

RORY: You came wi your mou oh en.

BEISTE: I gotta work on this kid’s diction.

WILL: Without a doubt, the best musical McKinley has ever done.

EMMA: Well, we’ll see. It’s a risky artistic choice, weaving the Jets into America, but Artie insisted. I just hope that people go with it, you know?

The “West Side Story” cast, minus KURT, BLAINE and RACHEL, sing America.

SCENE TWENTY-FOUR: BACKSTAGE

BLAINE: How are we, as virgins, supposed to follow that?

RACHEL: Tony and Maria were soulmates. Okay, against all odds, they found each other. I know what that’s like. You do too. So we just have to play that. Okay, we, as actors, have to tap into that. Okay?

SCENE TWENTY-FIVE: ONSTAGE, POST-SHOW

KURT: Shouldn’t you be celebrating?

BLAINE: Going over this move, I messed it up tonight. I know I can do it better.

KURT: Beauty of the stage. Get to do it all over again tomorrow night. Personally, I thought both you guys were perfect.

BLAINE: Thank you. Your Officer Krupke killed. Brought the house down.

KURT: Well, I can’t help but pull focus, sorry.

BLAINE: Don’t apologise, it was great.

KURT: All your friends were here tonight. The Warblers.

BLAINE: Yeah.

KURT: Sebastian. They were all loving it.

BLAINE: Come here. Gimme your hand. And hold it to your heart.

KURT: Just like the song?

BLAINE: Like the song. Kurt… Sebastian doesn’t mean anything to me. And you were right. Our first time shouldn’t be like that. I was drunk, and I’m sorry.

KURT: Well, it sure beats the last time you were drunk and made out with Rachel. But I’m sorry too. I wanted to be your gay bar superstar, but, try as I might, I’m still just a silly romantic.

BLAINE: It’s not silly.

KURT: You take my breath away. Not just now, but tonight on that stage. I was so proud to be with you.

BLAINE: I hope so. I want you to be. Um… Artie’s having an after party. At Breadstix. Would you accompany me?

KURT: No. I wanna go to your house.

BLAINE: Okay.

SCENE TWENTY-SIX: FINN’S FRONT PORCH

RACHEL: Hi. I got your flowers. They were beautiful.

FINN: You were really good.

RACHEL: Can I come in?

FINN: Yeah.

SCENE TWENTY-SEVEN: FINN’S LIVING ROOM

RACHEL: Where is everybody?

FINN: Kurt’s, uh, out with Blaine, and Burt and Carole left for Tolito right after the show, they got some kinda meet-and-greet in the morning, so they’re spending the night.

RACHEL: Why didn’t you stay for the after party? I mean, I know that you’re still mad at me, but the other night-

FINN: He didn’t like me.

RACHEL: What? Who?

FINN: The recruiter.

FLASHBACK TO: LOCKER ROOM

FINN (V/O): He watched the game and I waited like an idiot for twenty minutes while he talked to Shane. I didn’t even shower or change out of my uniform, ‘cause I was afraid I’d miss him.

FINN: So you guys are going after Shane?

COOTER: Kid’s a monster. Look, kid. Just ‘cause your football career ends in high school, it doesn’t mean your life does.

BACK TO: FINN’S LIVING ROOM

RACHEL: Wait, I don’t - I don’t understand what any of this means-

FINN: It means I suck! It means I’m gonna be stuck here forever. Cooter’s not gonna recruit me. He said I’d reached my ceiling.

RACHEL: There are other colleges, not-

FINN: Like there are other schools for you besides NYADA? I’m not good enough! I’m not a good enough quarterback to get a scholarship, I’m not a good enough singer to get into NYADA, it’s all over for me!

RACHEL: Stop it! Finn. Look at me. Your dreams are not dead, okay, you’ve just grown out of them. You have to find new ones now.

FINN: I don’t know how.

RACHEL: Then we’ll figure it out together. You’re special. You know how I know that? Because I’m gonna give you something that no one else is ever gonna get.

FINN: You don’t need to do this, okay, the play’s over, there’s no point.

RACHEL: No, the point is that I was wrong and stupid and immature and probably not for the last time, lost in my ambition and…

FINN: And now?

RACHEL: Now I’m just a girl. Here with the boy that she loves and wanting to remember this moment for the rest of her life.

The scene intercuts between BLAINE and RACHEL singing One Hand, One Heart, FINN and RACHEL laying down to make love and KURT and BLAINE also laying down to make love.

FIN.